Marriage Explanation

Shayla Bobala

So I was gonna get married In January of 2018 but honestly realized it was not the right time in my life. Doesn’t mean that I was with the wrong person. I just needed to grow more as a person and care less about what other people thought of it. One thing I realized is that I don’t want to change my last name. It’s a hassle and I think that it’s a tradition that is not important to me. Another thing I realized is that I’m already married in another sense I’m common law with my partner and we already have been through the honeymoon stage and we are living in reality. We have been through a lot together. A wedding is just a fun party to celebrate getting to spend the rest of your life together. I do believe getting married in a church matters. I also believe that it’s important to have your real friends there so that the bad ones don’t ruin it for you. And don’t invite people who will disappoint you. My sister got married after I invited her to my wedding and I never got an invite. I also invited my mom and she decided to tell me that she couldn’t afford to come when I said I would pay for her to come. She said she couldn’t and it hurt. But I realized that your dreams of parents being the people you thought they should be is not a reality. Parents are sometimes the harshest critics. My dad was however very good about it. Honestly though it doesn’t surprise me that my grandma dint want me to get married because none of her other grandchildren have and they would be jealous since we don’t get along. I was a foster child that was raised by my grandparents and so it was complicated for her to be my mom and grandma. But when I said mom either I meant my biological one who really let me down. All in all most of my family wouldn’t RSVP and neither would my partners in the hope we would cancel because they don’t want us to get married. But after another year I could care less what they want because they don’t have to live with my partner I do. I’m an adult and if they want to be in my life they will show up

Relationship Advice

Shayla Bobala

Throughout my years of experience of being in several long term relationships of 1,2,3 years. I have gained knowledge on many things. I learned that your first love in highschool doesn’t always workout. I’ve learned that if you date someone older they can help teach you important life skills. I learned that you shouldn’t always put so much pressure on things working out forever. Some people are only around for a season. I learned that if you are broken, like I was coming from foster care that you can’t be with someone with a normal family because they won’t understand your struggles. I have dated younger, older, my age and men who were just there through a hard time in my life. I also learned that love is temporary in some people’s life and they give the love they receive from there most important people in their life. I learned that true love is patient, persistent and most important loyal. I dated a guy once who was unfaithful to his partner and they ended up getting back together but did it last no. Love that is broken up by infidelity can never truly be as special as loyal love. There is a difference between physical cheating and just talking to other people flirting. But the physical cheating is impossible to forgive and trust me on this one I tried to forgive. Love is so special because you meet someone who literally changes your whole perspective on the world. I have met my soulmate and we have struggled but at the end of the day love prevails all trials and my love was tested at extreme lengths. Truly Shaylabobala

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